Decision ‘08

2006 In Review

James Lileks channels his future self, and presents us with a preview of next year’s end-of-year wrap-up:

The New York Times, fresh from reporting the self-destruct codes for the American spy satellites that had inadvertently listened into 15 pay-per-view porn orders from cable subscribers in Omaha, revealed that U.S. subs have been violating Chinese territorial waters to monitor military communications. The Times named the boat, the captain, his home address and posted his credit report online.

…Chastened, the administration begged The Times to put all its classified leaks in the “Times Select” online subscription-only service, guaranteeing no one will read them.

…Saddam Hussein was convicted and sentenced to death for crimes against humanity. While awaiting execution he published several children’s books, including “Goodnight Moon and Your Entire Accursed Family as Well,” in hopes he would get a Nobel Peace Prize nomination and the support of several Hollywood celebrities. His execution was eventually stayed on the grounds that his story has been optioned by George Clooney, but not yet purchased. The courts are still waiting for the agents to work out the details.

Uncannily prescient, we’ll be saying at this time next year…