Decision ‘08

Kerry Campaign: Initial Phases Going Smoothly

In a hastily organized news conference, a spokesman for the Perpetual John Kerry for President Campaign said the initial phases of “Operation Sign Form SF-180″ were going better than expected. Specifically, in the 90 days since Kerry promised on national television to sign the form releasing his military records, the following milestones have been achieved:

a pen has been procured from a Wal-Mart on the outskirts of Little Rock “for substantially less than the $12,000 budgeted”;
a special committee has been formed to discuss the best way to remove the cap from the pen;
a copy of the notoriously difficult to obtain form has been located on eBay and bidding is underway; and
a “Dinner With John” fundraising extravaganza is in the works to obtain the necessary postage to mail the signed form, should such a step be required.

The spokesman hastened to add that Kerry would not be bound by a timeline, stating “Senator Kerry believes strongly that announcing a proposed signing date would only encourage further attacks by insurgent bloggers”.

UPDATE 6:54 a.m. - It’s always a treat to get a link from PoliPundit; welcome, one and all, I’ll be in the back if you need anything; come back soon and often…

UPDATE 2 10:03 a.m. - Hey, whattaya know, the good folks at Power Line have linked, too - what a nice surprise. Thanks also to Viking Pundit - enjoy your Saturday, everyone, mine’s off to a great start…

15 Responses to “Kerry Campaign: Initial Phases Going Smoothly”

1 a4g Says:
May 1st, 2005 at 12:22 am
Great post.

Making fun of Kerry seems to be a guaranteed link from Polipundit. It made my Saturday last week (I found your blog the same way).

Now don’t you wish you could get some comments?
2 Mark Coffey Says:
May 1st, 2005 at 12:37 am
Yeah, I’ve noticed my regular commenters don’t usually say anything on the funny ones, and the people that do comment go back to PoliPundit to do it! Not that I’m complaining…have a good one.
3 Leigh Says:
May 1st, 2005 at 3:48 am
You mean John Kerry has heard of Walmart?
4 THIRDWAVEDAVE Says:
May 1st, 2005 at 4:14 am
This post is perfect and I hope you keep it up until he’s forced to sign SF180. This MSM makes me nuts sometimes, and this is one of those times.
5 Eric Lindholm Says:
May 1st, 2005 at 4:15 am
Hey, everybody loves a good, funny post. Enjoy the traffic (and thanks for the spillover link!)
6 Mark Coffey Says:
May 1st, 2005 at 4:30 am
Thirdwavedave, don’t worry, we’ll keep the heat on Kerry…Leigh, the Wal-Mart thing, of course, was Kerry demostrating his famous ‘common touch’…and Eric, you send me way more traffic than I send you; maybe someday I can return the favor!
7 John Boyle Says:
May 1st, 2005 at 5:50 am
Of course, Kerry has had ALL of his military records for a long time, and is intimately familiar with everything in them. Had he really wanted to release everything, all he’d have to do is do it.
8 ObloodyHell Says:
May 1st, 2005 at 2:13 pm
Instapundo Delenda Est?

“Instapundit must be destroyed”?

Ummm, someone get confused on their Latin?
9 Mark Coffey Says:
May 1st, 2005 at 4:25 pm
ObloodyHell, it’s an inside joke with the ‘Alliance of Free Blogs’ - someone started the tradition of taking shots at Glenn, he being the most visible blogger on our side of the aisle - they also accuse him of putting puppies into blenders. It’s all in good fun, I take it.
10 rob Says:
May 2nd, 2005 at 12:01 am
Don’t expect Jon Fraud to walk into Walmart , that’s a job for “where’s my f*****n hair brush ,Marvin?” Like when he and his poodle wife ran out of Wendy’s after the photo-op to dine with their personal chef while Edwards and his wife ate inside. Can you say arrogant pompus little beatch.
11 Mark Coffey Says:
May 2nd, 2005 at 12:47 am
Kerry? Arrogant? Pompous? Why, whatever could you mean…
12 sligobob Says:
May 2nd, 2005 at 4:53 pm
I expect OJ Simpson to track down his wife’s murderer before the great Senator of Massachusetts manages to jot down his signature on the Form 180. But I’m an optimist, that way.
13 Mark Coffey Says:
May 2nd, 2005 at 5:08 pm
Ha! Best line I’ve heard yet…
14 Norm Says:
May 25th, 2005 at 3:30 pm
Kerry apparently did much research to make sure signing SF180 would be safe. It is possible to sign a restrictive SF180. It is also possible to make sure anything bad was expunged. This is a big job as most files are duplicated and stored at different departments. He and Kennedy have Carter’s amnesty law (especially modified by Kennedy to protect Kerry) to leverage an expunge operation which is time consuming and probably caused the long delay. I would suggest the caution and long delay be explained by having to make sure that the military records are not a smear job by defense department “evil conservatives” but “accurate” with all “errors” removed as a “service” to the public.
15 Mark Coffey Says:
May 25th, 2005 at 3:48 pm
Norm, if that’s the case, that’s bad news indeed…but that would explain why it is taking so long. We’ll have to keep watching on this score…